On Exercise

I have to run a lot, because I make myself do it, and I engage in a wide variety of mental activities to distract myself from the fact that I still have miles to go and I'm tired.  I considered the other day what makes someone decent at working out, or makes someone do it at all.  For me, and I speak only for me, I've found that its equal parts self loathing and self love.  I am running because I am not good enough, fast enough or strong enough.  Yet, I can finish the distance I set because I am powerful and able to do so.  It's a really strange balance that essentially equals optimistic masochism.

Camel Spider Jr.

Expeditionary reporter slash photojournalist slash entomologist Kristin Russell took one step closer this week to discovering the legendary Camel Spider, or Syndaesia sp.  

At a meeting over tea with some Iraqi counterparts in the Kurdish Capital of Erbil (it would be Irbil on our maps, but I defer to their spelling...) a terrifyingly fast, although not camel-looking, spider appeared from under a leather couch, proceeded to sit still for a few minutes, then ran directly at my boots, then under the couch I was sitting on.  This caused a little panic as I pictured it scurrying up my pants leg and plunging its sword like jaws into my jugular, but I managed to sit still and focused on the tasty tea biscuits and pistachios instead.  Also, I made up what the guys were saying in arabic.  

See specimin below.  Lindsay, do I get half credit for this one?  It was impressive enough that the Iraqi guy on the couch asked for a copy of the pic.  My zoom isn't that amazing, so this thing was about the size of a silver half dollar.  You know, the ones with Kennedy on the front that you have like 50 of and don't know what to do with?

Maps

I can't sleep, so here's some of Iraq's relatively interesting geography taken on my fun trip a few weeks ago.

This last one is the Ziggurat of Ur.  Biblical Abraham's house is supposed to be around here too.  The dude in the bazaar back here tried to help me properly pronounce ziggurat.  He says it like, "ziccurah" and it's not Ur, it's "ouhr".  I appreciated him trying to help me out but still hoping I'm getting as salaam walekum out right, thanks.

Book Fair Part 1

Before I left the US I asked people to chime in on books I should read while I am in Baghdad.  Here's how I'm doing so far:

1 - Lynne Truss, Eats, Shoots & Leaves
This was my own choice.  I wanted I love grammar.  I hate your misspellings, incorrect use of you're, and misplaced apostrophes.  I love this book.

2 - Rob Sheffield, Love is a Mix Tape
A pretty decent book about this Rolling Stone contributor and his girlfriend/wife who dies and the mix tapes he goes though as he deals with his loss.  Some of the songs struck a relatively nostalgic note with me but since I was all of 7-17 in the 90s, a lot of them don't register.  I think are the kind of music you can only tolerate if you lived it as it was being created.  In retrospect this would probably not be a good move to download and listen to.  The book itself was good though, I read it on the plane over to Qatar.  I did not read any books on the plane to Iraq as it was dark and I had on full gear and was sleeping (dramamine).

3 - J.D. Salinger, Nine Stories
Marty, I know you reccomended this one but I'll level with you and anyone else who read and liked this.  I liked the last story.  That was it.

4 - Timothy Freke & Peter Gandy, The Laughing Jesus
Connor, this was a great choice and got me interested in a lot of other books that are going to send me directly to hell without passing go or collecting that wildly attractive fake $200.  I have to admit that I only read the first half though.  The historical perspective was AWESOME.  After that the gnostic thing was fine, but it was like preaching to the choir and I already pretty much got it so I had to stop.

5 - Sloane Crosley, I Was Told There'd Be Cake
The reviews on the cover tout her to be just like a female David Sedaris.  Let me tell you about Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim for a second.  Sedaris narrates it HIMSELF for books on tape, which is how I listened to it.  It's gloomy as shit and I laughed a few times but it would take some serious convincing on the part of a trusted friend to get me to listen or read anything else by him.  Moving on, Crosley's book is actually quite funny and my favorite story is about her having to be a maid of honor for a friend she's barely talked to in 5 years.  It was actually pretty good.  Don't let the reviews on the cover fool you.  Also, I often expect cake, or at the very least punch & pie at any and all meetings I attend.  I am often disappointed but refuse to lower my expectations for anyone.

6 - Steven Pressfield, Gates of Fire
YES!  What a fucking awesome book!  Spartans are super sweet.  It was extremely good and I would put it up there with Ender's Game as really really really important books to read if you are a military officer.  After this I watched 300, which is about the same battle of Thermopylae, but based on a graphic novel instead of Gates of Fire.  Thus, it was ok, decent even, but nothing compared to this book.  Supposedly George Clooney's production company owns the rights to the Gates of Fire movie, so someday that might be something to look forward to.

7 - Douglas Adams, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
I think I have to thank Scott for this.  I wouldn't know, because FB deleted my posts from like April to August including the one where everyone made recommendations.  I'm more than halfway done and it's fine and nonsensical and I'm enjoying it.

I realize that's only 7ish books (I started the first one before I left) in 2 months and though not terrible I'm not sure I'll be able to get through every book I've got here but I'll make an effort and keep logging I guess.  It was one of my goals to read and relax here.  I'm finally, at 2 months trying to figure out how that works.  School doesn't help, stalkers don't help, work doesn't help, but I get a little time each night for the most part and that's at least part of the reason this is my sandy vacation.

Amazing 80s Lifting Music

I started the women eagles off season workout for lifting, just like last year.  This year I have found that for whatever reason I ONLY want to do the workout to my 80s playlist on my ipod.  I thought I'd share...

Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams
Stevie Wonder - Part Time Lover
Bon Jovi - Shot Through the Heart
Whitney - I Wanna Dance With Somebody
Eddie Money - Take Me Home Tonight
Pat Benetar - Love is a Battlefield
The Cars - Just What I Needed
Fine Young Cannibals - She Drives Me Crazy
Janet Jackson - Rhythm Nation
Toni Basil - Mickey
The Outfield - Your Love
Loverboy - Working For the Weekend
Run DMC - Tricky
Journey - Any Way You Want It
Peter Gabriel - Sledgehammer
Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up
Cars - You Might Think
Ah Ha - Take On Me
Rick Springfield - Jesse's Girl
Blondie - Heart of Glass
Steve Winwood - Higher Love
Bon Jovi - Living on a Prayer
Pat Benetar - Hit Me With Your Best Shot
Guns & Roses - Sweet Child of Mine
Cyndi Lauper - Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
Soft Cell - Tainted Love
Madonna - Material Girl
Madonna - Express Yourself
Van Halen - Jump
Genesis - Invisible Touch
George Michael - Freedom 90

Today's Angriest Thought

Oh hi [gym stalker #2].  What?  I can't understand your english, so this is going to be a confusing conversation that I wish was shorter.  I see you plan to stand here and talk.  Did you notice I was 2/3 of the way done with my Romanian deadlift sets?  You clearly don't care about interrupting my gym time.  Thanks for stalling me long enough for my legs to get cold so I strain a hamstring later finishing my set.  Dick.

Halloween Awareness Theme and Your Second Amendment Rights

For most of you at least, it's that time of year again when the leaves start to change colors, crisp fall breezes float in, hot cider comes back into vogue, and you consider your Halloween options.  Lindsay has so graciously sent me 30 pairs of vampire teeth, so I'm confident that myself and the USF-I J6 have our costumes covered on October 31.  As it's the holiday (read: pagan heretic abomination) of high fructose corn syrup (mmmmm) I'd like to take the opportunity to bring awareness to an important issue that is both close to my heart, or more accurately, close to my hip (I wear the shoulder holster).

Zombies.  I've taken the initiative here at Camp Victory to use the unit's 'Friday Movie' nights to enlighten and educate my fellow arms professionals about the pending dangers of the living dead.  Maybe the source will be a mutated plague, radiation, a curse, whatever.  I've seen enough of these films to keep Zombie Preparedness and Safety perpetually at the forefront of my thoughts.  Remember: Nothing is as delicious as your brains.  Zombies want your gray matter the way I want to pour this value bag of candy corn into my mouth.  Either way, it's not going to be pretty.

As additional vaccines and scientific research progress, I can clearly see that at some point, Hell will fill up and the dead will walk the earth fiending after your mouthwatering flesh.  Then you'll join them.  Lame.  A few weeks ago I half expected to see frantic and infrequent static/terror filled news reports from the US announcing the rise of the living dead following the release of of a new swine flu vaccine.  Maybe it just takes longer.

Because of this, and as someone who now carries an unconcealed weapon at all times, I'm going to have emphatically support that position that: for serious, we're going to need all these firearms.  Maaaaybe not assault weapons, but wouldn't you feel safer with a cache of those in your reanimated corpse surrounded farmhouse?  What do you mean you don't live in a farmhouse?  Look, you're going to want to be in the country when this hits.  The cities will just be deathtraps.  Close quarters, too many tasty victims, lots of basements.  No good.  You can better form and defend a commune of the survivors in the rural areas, just saying.  But when Betty Sue's daughter gets scratched by one of 'them', you've gotta kill her and burn the corpse, no exceptions.  In addition, my limited knowledge of the ban on assault weapons tells me they're now legal.  What a relief.  I wonder how many AK-47s I can fit in the weapons locker I am currently 'Buy it Now'-ing on eBay.  Not enough.  What does the law say about flame throwers?  At any rate, it appears that shotguns do the best job, which seems strange because it is my understanding that they the shot goes over a wider range.  I guess you could use slugs.  Perhaps the blast area/force is enough for the zombies, whose flesh is normally decaying at said time.  If I can give you any advice, go for the head.  In most scenarios they 'die' after you if you crush/destroy the skull.  Burn the bodies, get creative on weapon usage (home made incindiaries, napalm you borrowed from your Michigan militia friends, etc), add a little humor in there, and for the love of appetizing brains, don't fall in love with anyone.

I guess what it really comes down to is whether we'll have George Romero zombies, Peter Jackson (yes, of LOTR fame) zombies, or Danny Boyle zombies.  I think the answer is pending, as it is quite possible that the British Forces Broadcasting Station (BFBS) has had their staff attacked by zombies, or at least their brains eaten as they choose to show soccer over rugby on the only channel that could possibly show a match or two over here.  Get the shotguns.